There are days, when
I feel breathless from the effort to breathe, to live.
The fluttering of my heart is delicate
A distant reminder that with a pump and a flow
The machine still goes on.
The walls close in, my soul entombed in the darkness.
Lights flicker, casting deep shadows on the grays.
Monochromatic, lifeless,
Meadows become graveyards,
The trickling streams, shrill.
My body radiates the loss of love,
My soul collects oceans of tears from the suffering.
Loving voices fade, and the demons are louder
Inviting the hands to have a will of their own.
Why, I ask?
Why do the surrounding heartbeats seem an intrusion?
The most compassionate embrace, a violation?
The songs of the lonely seems to reverberate through the fibers of my being,
Even though I am not alone?
I seem to inch closer to the edge, staring into oblivion
Yearning the primal, the clutch of the invisible carrying me away.
Arms stretched out towards the beckoning,
There is no resistance as I close my eyes, the wind an angry whiplash on my cheeks;
My lids drenched with the tears of the Sun.
And then, there it is.
The soothing rhythm of the waves crashing against the cliffs, breaks through the revere
And slowly drowns out the beast’s irate cries.
A slight fissure in the darkness piercing through the pain,
The light struggles to shine from within.
The little hands in my own, become the weight of an anchor in a storm.
The raging gives way to a calm and
As I turn towards the trusting eyes,
The fog seems to clear.
Where I only saw pools of darkness,
Now lies the world’s best delights that has no price;
Gems that are meant to be caressed and treasured,
Not to appease them, but to salvage you.
With a hint of a smile, I fall in step with the eager, the oblivious,
Or, are they?
As I watch the zeal, the laughter
I come to feel the pulse
And I wonder, what dance of the elements can I conquer?
To bring back the quiet of my love?
- mh (c) 2016
